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Check out the Brite-Strike Tactical Blue-Dot Flashlight, designed by the po-po and jacked up with all the high-tech goodness you’d expect from a top-of-the-line product.
The 220 lumens and “tri strike crown,” which essentially turns your flashlight into a pair of nunchucks, help to ensure the clearest and safest passage from point A to point B. Not to mention the Brite-Strike is waterproof, harder than a coconut to crack and can literally blind your enemies with a glare that seems more like a UFO landing at Area 51 than an illumination. So the next time you’re sneaking around past midnight, don’t forget to bring the Brite-Strike Tactical Blue-Dot Flashlight along.
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It’s the moment not just NASCAR fans, but race fans in general, have been waiting for since December, when Dale Earnhardt Jr. hired the Indycar diva to drive a race car for his team. “How will Danica do?” has been the question swirling around NASCAR Nation for almost 2 months. Today, we get our answer.
My prediction: She makes it 10 laps.
My prediction is probably way of base, and perhaps even a little insulting. But there are several reasons why I believe the Indycar diva doesn’t last more than 10 laps.
First, her inexperience. She seems to be approaching this race, and this whole venture, like it’s no big deal. If this is going to work out, Patrick needs a reality check, and her inexperience may be enough to send her for a ride within the first 10 laps.
Second, the competition. Even if Patrick doesn’t take herself out, there are still about 30 other drivers on the track who don’t have any clue what they are doing. There will be wrecks, and the only way Patrick will be able to dodge them is if she is out front. Something I have a difficult time picturing her doing.
Finally, the mechanics of the car. This goes hand-in-hand with her inexperience, only it refers to her ability to manage the car; not just drive it. Patrick has never had to go up through the gears at a rapid rate in a stock car, so the start of the race could prove to be treacherous. How she handles pit stops is another thing. Remember, Patrick comes from a league where everything is controlled by buttons, so managing the car could prove to be difficult for her.
Like I said, my prediction may be way off base. But we shall see. In the meantime go here for Danika Patrick bikini pics and video.
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If either Colts kicker Matt Stover or Saints kicker Garrett Hartley takes aim for a potential game-winning field goal in Super Bowl XLVI Sunday, it’s a good bet that they won’t know the inventor of the slingshot goal posts they’re trying to split. Read more>>>
New Orleans Saintsations
1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans , drink 1
4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds.
8. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”
9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1
10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer
11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1
12. If they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor
13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1
14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Superbowl victory, drink 1
15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1
16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2
17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5 and remember that we are still a better football team with better fans.
18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “bullshit!”
19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink 1
20. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1, and mention how bad he sucked. If they show old footage of him on the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.
21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling “Who dat!” Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1.
22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Devon Williams.
23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then punch someone in the neck.
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