Greetings and salutations to citizen peoples of evil America! It is my profound and deeply penetrating pleasure to take teeny tiny break from executing books and burning homos…no, is believe in actuality the reverse. Hmmm. No matter, the end result is the same, yes? Ah.
Allah is great!
Now I will say two things. First is Iran is peaceful nation, yes? And we practice a peaceful religion. We seek the nuclears for peaceful stuff. Only we desire to making big reactors for to power the dish, so we can see the American Idol on TV. Simon Cowell is the bitch, no? LOL! Only peaceful stuffs is what we make the nukie-nukies.
The number two thing to say is that we would like to see death to Israel. AL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAH!!! An end to evil Zionism and big bad Satan. To be, what is it? Sorry for bad English. Is vaporized? Yes.
One thing more is to tell Miss Ann Coulter to check out Mahmoud’s MySpace page. She sexy vixen. Mahmoud is wanting for having sex with her vagina. Maybe even to do the freaky boogie up her back doors! She text me now, okay?
Perky tits blonde Brooke bares her all-over tan at a local cigar shop, hopping onto a table for sassy shots with the merchandise before setting off on a flashing adventure. No complaints from workers when this lil hottie bares tits, ass, and pussy for them!
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I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn’t make the final payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don’t know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn’t get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Enclosed is a recent picture of your sisters. They sure miss you. Your dad seems to take them fishing more than you used to.